She's Gone. Is The Door Forever Locked?

The loss of a child catapults a parent into a dark sorrowful place. It is touted as the darkest loss of all. The journey through this darkeness occurs in small steps. Each parent, though unable to bring their child back, will be presented with choices along this road. As time progresses those choices will become more and more evident. -Marsha Abbott

I have been blessed with great joys. Through the birth of my two daughters I have had glimpses of heaven. I can attest to the life altering experience that birth bestows upon parent. The unalterable change in becoming, ‘less about you’ and more about something ‘much bigger’ than you. Some people call it growing up. Unlike most parents I also understand the raw and helpless despair of receiving a phone call that your daughter has been killed.

I am her mother. The tears I shed are for my aching loss and the loss for her father and sister. The loss of a future with her. As I kneel in church on Sunday my thoughts often spin. I am reminded that on a spiritual level my daughter still lives. Her soul and spirit will never die.

I feel her spirit, her presence and her love each day. There are no more daily phone calls from her, asking for recipe ideas, telling me about funny things that happened in the bakery where she was working, telling me stories about her new puppy, telling me she missed me, and asking about her dad and sister. Now I make the phone calls to her through meditation and prayer.

I am greatly challenged between the spiritual side of me, who recognizes that my daughter will always surround me and the ‘mama’ side,….who lost her sweet daughter and cannot fix it. Can grief be paralyzing? Yes. Sometimes it burns in my chest and screams to me “Your child has been ripped from your womb”. Such a unfixable gut wrenching vacancy. Memories of that little toddler with curly blonde hair, big blue eyes, a sippy cup and band aids on her knees flood my thoughts and flow through my tear ducts.

Often, I can feel her reaching out to me. I’ve become sensitive to signs that she is in my midst. I think about what she would want if she saw us grieving and horribly lost without her. I know she would want to comfort those who miss her so dearly. She would want her sister to know that she is okay and that her parents will be okay. She would want all of us to speak of her, share memories, be comforted, and seek happiness. I believe that when a child dies, a part of you dies too. We must redefine our lives and accept that our child has gone ahead of us in the wrong order. We were suppose to go first.

I believe that God represents the light and love of the world. He loves us enough to send our spirit into this world through the physical body to learn and to give others an opportunity to grow through our relationships with one another. We are here for a purpose. She was here for a purpose. Sometimes our purpose can be to assist others on their journey. When we return to the spiritual realm, we leave the physical body behind and continue to grow in love. We will meet again in the spiritual realm of the positive energy we call Heaven. This is what consoles my heart, and it is the reason I can give thanks and celebrate my earthly blessings; namely my family.

There is much more to our existence than this 3-dimensional earthly world. Many are believers and ‘some’ of us, through an unthinkable tragedy, are forced to accept that our worst fear has come true. Along with this ‘realization’ is the opportunity to further investigate the spiritual doors which may have been locked up until now. A large ring of keys has been given to those who have lost a child. The task lies ahead.


Marsha lost her 19 year old daughter in a gun accident, Sept '09. She maintains a Facebook wall titled A New Journey, for grieving parents. She also writes a blog titled, Bereavement For Breakfast. http://bereavement4breakfast.blogspot.com/

Feeling Slammed by God and the Universe?

-Article by Barbara Rose regarding searching for solace in the midst of catastrophe.

As you look around you, perhaps you are one of the people who feel you have been slammed by the universe. Some may feel as I used to - God? What God? How could any God let this happen?

Your pleas and feelings are understandable, but they are not, however, the end of your journey. You will come to know how to achieve solace again, some measure of understanding to ease the torturous pain.

I have been there, too. When injustice felt like a perpetual life in purgatory every day. How did I come out of the shackles of the deepest despair? I wanted to know truth. I wanted to know "why" and I wrote a letter directly to God asking "Why?"

Much to my amazement, I received an answer that immediately lifted the pain. The crushing sorrow that I had come to call my daily existence was suddenly lifted. I received the higher perspective that took the place of how I was viewing the tragedy in my life.

I want this for you, too. If you are feeling shell shocked, as if your heart and soul have been blasted apart and ripped out of your chest, this is the best time to write a letter to whoever or whatever name you give to the must pure spiritual source in the universe - the source of that 'still small voice.' I call that God, and it is crucial that you get in touch with the highest spiritual truths that are behind desperate tragedy so you can come back to life and live again.

I know what it feels like to feel like a breathing corpse. I can promise you that all that is required for you to receive answers that will bring you solace is your deep desire to receive those answers.

Your request for knowledge and understanding must come from the deepest place in your heart.

Humanity cries for the loss of life, and yet what many have not fully integrated into daily knowledge is that when a person leaves this physical life, and crosses over to the other side, they are vibrantly ALIVE again!

If your loved on is on the other side, call out to him! Speak to her. Our loved ones can hear us, they actually visit us, even though we cannot physically see them because they are no longer in a physical body, but their soul, their essence, their consciousness and ALL of the love they feel for you is just as alive as you are right now.

From lifetime to lifetime we experience despair. We do not remember all we have undergone in our prior lifetimes. We do not remember learning so many lessons. This is the lifetime to bridge the gap between human catastrophe and spiritual truth.

Nothing happens in this universe that is void of energy. It is the loving energy in your heart that desires understanding that will receive exactly what you need, you just have to be willing to do so.

Receiving answers from God is far from any sort of special ability. You have been receiving answers throughout all of your life. The inner nudges that guide you to do this or that, to call or write, only for the other person to say, "I was just thinking about you!"

Our energy is felt by our loved ones no matter how near or far away they are. Whether they are on the opposite end of the earth or on the other side, our loved ones love for us remains eternal.

Take out a pen and paper and write Dear ____ (whatever name you give to God, Source, Holy Spirit) and ask from the depths of your heart what you need to know in order to feel your deepest grief lifted.

I have worked with clients whose children passed on. Understandably, they were barely alive themselves. Filled with pain that was torturous at best, they received answers, and they came back to life from the inside out.

If this process did not work, if it was not the time for you to experience this process, you would not be reading this right now. It is time for you to receive answers to your questions. Now, all you need to do is ask, and then listen within your mind to the words that flow into your mind, and write down every word verbatim. Censor nothing. Write down every word that flows into your mind. Then re-read what you wrote. When you experience actually receiving answers that are simple, yet profoundly life enhancing, please share this process with anyone who is suffering that is open to this.

It is pure. You deserve answers. Humanity must transform from the current catastrophic perspective. Those whose children have just crossed over to the other side, their children are ALIVE on the other side. Please let this view or perspective into your consciousness, because it is truth.

We all have so much more in common as a human race than our differences lead us to believe. Our hearts share the same feelings. It is time for your heart to finally know inner peace. Ask the questions with a pure heart. Listen within for the words that flow into your mind. Write down every word, then see how you feel after you have received the higher perspective. I care deeply that you feel understanding, as that is the conscious foundation of inner peace.

Barbara Rose, Ph.D. is the best selling author of thirteen books including If God Hears Me, I Want an Answer!

Resources for Grieving Parents: A New Journey (information on the left margin of blog)

Part 3: Questions About Heaven And My Child

Part 3... The last of a series of entries which includes questions answered by a 'medium' about life in heaven. They are answered by Concetta Bertoldi, author and medium....

WHAT IS THE BENEFIT OF DISCOVERING THE TRUTH ABOUT THE OTHER SIDE?

Understanding that life goes on in spirit after our physical death does so many positive things for us. It heals us. It gives us peace, comfort, and knowledge to help us have better lives, learn lessons easier, live happier, and help others. It can inspire us to make changes that might be difficult because we know it really does matter. It's not just this one lifetime, the way we spend our energy has an unimaginable ripple effect in this world and the next over many lifetimes. Understanding is impportant on both sides of the veil. It affects the quality of our lives, the quality of our love, and the quality of our relationship now and always with God.

WHY DO SOME PEOPLE LIVE TO AN OLD AGE AND OTHERS DIE YOUNG?

Well, first, of course, we all are going to die. When and how is part of our destiny, and I do believe that there are reasons for things that we might not understand. I do know that this question, especially when it concerns a younger person, creates such heartache on this side. People want to know why, which is a question to be answered on the Other Side. I definitely have many of my own 'why' questions that I'm sure I will be asking all my life, even though I know I won't get the answers until I cross home. Only God knows 'why'.

DO THE DEAD KNOW THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS HERE?

It's not that happiness has to be created in our lives. Happiness is our natural state. The difficulty is in ridding ourselves of what causes us unhappiness -- most of which is of our own doing and choosing.

You have to look at your life as if it has chapters. I was always happy. But at different times there were things going on that tried to break my happiness. It's really up to us to choose happiness. You can't expect anyone else to do it for you. We have the power to bring ourselves back after a big disappointment or a great loss. We have the power to choose.

*Note: These are the opinions of medium Concetta Bertoldi. These questions and answers are from her book, Do Dead People Watch You In The Shower. The books includes many questions/answers from across the spectrum. She consults regularly with member os Britain's royal family, American celebrities, politicians, and others. Her practice has a two-year waiting list. She lives in New Jersey with her husband.

From Marsha: I find it very moving that parents who have lost a child(ren) are open to so many points of view regarding life after death and ultimately non-judgemental with one another as they travel this road of heartbreak. I hope those in their lives (friends, relatives) can be as equally supportive. By the grace of God, we pray for healing and like the picture above, nothing can fill the hole in our hearts.

Please see the blog archive for Parts 1 & 2.