ATTITUDE Matters

Grief and attitude are two different things. It is important to distinguish between the two in order to begin taking steps toward a future after losing a child. Grief is the broken hearted place of loss, irreparable and empty. Attitude represents the way in which we take our loving memories and fill the cup of spiritual connection as we move along the altered path of our daily lives. -Grief Story(1)

Dr. Masaru Emoto has conducted thousands of experiments with water crystals showing that the mind's attitude affects how water crystallizes when frozen. In one example Dr. Emoto put water from the same source into two bottles. He wrote the words "You Fool" on a label and taped it to one of the bottles. He wrote the words 'Thank You' on a second label and taped that label to the second bottle.

Dr Emoto then froze the water from each bottle and photographed the crystals that were formed using a microscope and camera. The result was that the crystals formed from water taken from the bottle with "You Fool' on it were grotesque and misshapen. The crystals formed from water taken from the bottle with 'Thank You" written on it were beautiful and symmetrical, like snowflakes.

"We must assume it wasn't the printed words that influenced the water; it was the minds of the people who wrote and read the words. We know that because the symbols on the labels were just ink stains on a flat surface with no meaning except to people; the writer's and reader's minds created meaning from the ink marks." (2)

These experiments have now been performed many times using different sources of water and different treatments. In all circumstances, when a loving, compassionate, gentle attitude or melodious sound is focused on the water, beautiful crystals form when the water is frozen. When harsh, depressing, negative, hateful attitudes or cacophonous sounds are focused on the water, the frozen crystals are misshapen and grotesque.( see video of crystals and commentary)

Our minds influence our physical world. The journey we face after the loss of a precious child begins in a very dark place. This darkness can appear at various times throughout a day, a week, or an hour. Lighting a candle in our hearts to shed brightness into this cavern of darkness is a healing analogy synonymous with 'creating' our own beautiful crystal of thought; linking us to all that is good.

The energy of our soul communicates through vibration. Making time each day to foster positive loving thoughts will create beautiful crystals of connection and love. This is the definition of prayer/meditation.

Consider taking time to create a beautiful crystal of thought and send it to those you love both in heaven and on earth.
-Marsha

(1)Grief Story -excepts from personal journal
(2)Craig Hogan

She's Gone. Is The Door Forever Locked?

The loss of a child catapults a parent into a dark sorrowful place. It is touted as the darkest loss of all. The journey through this darkeness occurs in small steps. Each parent, though unable to bring their child back, will be presented with choices along this road. As time progresses those choices will become more and more evident. -Marsha Abbott

I have been blessed with great joys. Through the birth of my two daughters I have had glimpses of heaven. I can attest to the life altering experience that birth bestows upon parent. The unalterable change in becoming, ‘less about you’ and more about something ‘much bigger’ than you. Some people call it growing up. Unlike most parents I also understand the raw and helpless despair of receiving a phone call that your daughter has been killed.

I am her mother. The tears I shed are for my aching loss and the loss for her father and sister. The loss of a future with her. As I kneel in church on Sunday my thoughts often spin. I am reminded that on a spiritual level my daughter still lives. Her soul and spirit will never die.

I feel her spirit, her presence and her love each day. There are no more daily phone calls from her, asking for recipe ideas, telling me about funny things that happened in the bakery where she was working, telling me stories about her new puppy, telling me she missed me, and asking about her dad and sister. Now I make the phone calls to her through meditation and prayer.

I am greatly challenged between the spiritual side of me, who recognizes that my daughter will always surround me and the ‘mama’ side,….who lost her sweet daughter and cannot fix it. Can grief be paralyzing? Yes. Sometimes it burns in my chest and screams to me “Your child has been ripped from your womb”. Such a unfixable gut wrenching vacancy. Memories of that little toddler with curly blonde hair, big blue eyes, a sippy cup and band aids on her knees flood my thoughts and flow through my tear ducts.

Often, I can feel her reaching out to me. I’ve become sensitive to signs that she is in my midst. I think about what she would want if she saw us grieving and horribly lost without her. I know she would want to comfort those who miss her so dearly. She would want her sister to know that she is okay and that her parents will be okay. She would want all of us to speak of her, share memories, be comforted, and seek happiness. I believe that when a child dies, a part of you dies too. We must redefine our lives and accept that our child has gone ahead of us in the wrong order. We were suppose to go first.

I believe that God represents the light and love of the world. He loves us enough to send our spirit into this world through the physical body to learn and to give others an opportunity to grow through our relationships with one another. We are here for a purpose. She was here for a purpose. Sometimes our purpose can be to assist others on their journey. When we return to the spiritual realm, we leave the physical body behind and continue to grow in love. We will meet again in the spiritual realm of the positive energy we call Heaven. This is what consoles my heart, and it is the reason I can give thanks and celebrate my earthly blessings; namely my family.

There is much more to our existence than this 3-dimensional earthly world. Many are believers and ‘some’ of us, through an unthinkable tragedy, are forced to accept that our worst fear has come true. Along with this ‘realization’ is the opportunity to further investigate the spiritual doors which may have been locked up until now. A large ring of keys has been given to those who have lost a child. The task lies ahead.


Marsha lost her 19 year old daughter in a gun accident, Sept '09. She maintains a Facebook wall titled A New Journey, for grieving parents. She also writes a blog titled, Bereavement For Breakfast. http://bereavement4breakfast.blogspot.com/

Feeling Slammed by God and the Universe?

-Article by Barbara Rose regarding searching for solace in the midst of catastrophe.

As you look around you, perhaps you are one of the people who feel you have been slammed by the universe. Some may feel as I used to - God? What God? How could any God let this happen?

Your pleas and feelings are understandable, but they are not, however, the end of your journey. You will come to know how to achieve solace again, some measure of understanding to ease the torturous pain.

I have been there, too. When injustice felt like a perpetual life in purgatory every day. How did I come out of the shackles of the deepest despair? I wanted to know truth. I wanted to know "why" and I wrote a letter directly to God asking "Why?"

Much to my amazement, I received an answer that immediately lifted the pain. The crushing sorrow that I had come to call my daily existence was suddenly lifted. I received the higher perspective that took the place of how I was viewing the tragedy in my life.

I want this for you, too. If you are feeling shell shocked, as if your heart and soul have been blasted apart and ripped out of your chest, this is the best time to write a letter to whoever or whatever name you give to the must pure spiritual source in the universe - the source of that 'still small voice.' I call that God, and it is crucial that you get in touch with the highest spiritual truths that are behind desperate tragedy so you can come back to life and live again.

I know what it feels like to feel like a breathing corpse. I can promise you that all that is required for you to receive answers that will bring you solace is your deep desire to receive those answers.

Your request for knowledge and understanding must come from the deepest place in your heart.

Humanity cries for the loss of life, and yet what many have not fully integrated into daily knowledge is that when a person leaves this physical life, and crosses over to the other side, they are vibrantly ALIVE again!

If your loved on is on the other side, call out to him! Speak to her. Our loved ones can hear us, they actually visit us, even though we cannot physically see them because they are no longer in a physical body, but their soul, their essence, their consciousness and ALL of the love they feel for you is just as alive as you are right now.

From lifetime to lifetime we experience despair. We do not remember all we have undergone in our prior lifetimes. We do not remember learning so many lessons. This is the lifetime to bridge the gap between human catastrophe and spiritual truth.

Nothing happens in this universe that is void of energy. It is the loving energy in your heart that desires understanding that will receive exactly what you need, you just have to be willing to do so.

Receiving answers from God is far from any sort of special ability. You have been receiving answers throughout all of your life. The inner nudges that guide you to do this or that, to call or write, only for the other person to say, "I was just thinking about you!"

Our energy is felt by our loved ones no matter how near or far away they are. Whether they are on the opposite end of the earth or on the other side, our loved ones love for us remains eternal.

Take out a pen and paper and write Dear ____ (whatever name you give to God, Source, Holy Spirit) and ask from the depths of your heart what you need to know in order to feel your deepest grief lifted.

I have worked with clients whose children passed on. Understandably, they were barely alive themselves. Filled with pain that was torturous at best, they received answers, and they came back to life from the inside out.

If this process did not work, if it was not the time for you to experience this process, you would not be reading this right now. It is time for you to receive answers to your questions. Now, all you need to do is ask, and then listen within your mind to the words that flow into your mind, and write down every word verbatim. Censor nothing. Write down every word that flows into your mind. Then re-read what you wrote. When you experience actually receiving answers that are simple, yet profoundly life enhancing, please share this process with anyone who is suffering that is open to this.

It is pure. You deserve answers. Humanity must transform from the current catastrophic perspective. Those whose children have just crossed over to the other side, their children are ALIVE on the other side. Please let this view or perspective into your consciousness, because it is truth.

We all have so much more in common as a human race than our differences lead us to believe. Our hearts share the same feelings. It is time for your heart to finally know inner peace. Ask the questions with a pure heart. Listen within for the words that flow into your mind. Write down every word, then see how you feel after you have received the higher perspective. I care deeply that you feel understanding, as that is the conscious foundation of inner peace.

Barbara Rose, Ph.D. is the best selling author of thirteen books including If God Hears Me, I Want an Answer!

Resources for Grieving Parents: A New Journey (information on the left margin of blog)

FORCED to view life differently...

-Selected remarks made by Sandy Wiltshire at the conclusion of her book, My Gift of Light. Her journey and search for meaning, after the loss of her daughter, was not only unique but interesting.

"In the book of life, every page has two sides; we human beings fill the upper side with our plans, hopes, and wishes, but providence writes on the other side, and what it ordains is seldom our goal.

Life after death will always remain a mystery to those on this side of the veil/heaven. I have learned, however,that connecting to loved ones who have crossed over to the other side can create hope at a time of greatest despair. The death of a loved one, especially the death of one of our children, forces us to search the depths of our souls for life's meaning. In the face of such devestating loss and heartache, we must devise new core values to live by.

As we search for answers, spirituality can provide a doorway to this understanding and to new hope. I know it changed my life, the way I view the world, as well as my belief system forever. (note: On her journey, Sandy learned/developed the ability to connect with her daughter. She utimately became a medium and helps grieving parents connect with their children.)

We must confront our grief, learn how to move through it, and eventually embrace the truth that because of our loss, we are forever changed. We become so transformed by the work of grieving that we awaken to the fact that events or possessions that used to be important to us no longer are. Our once-ordered life is in chaos. As a result, we open ourselves to self-exploration.

The death of a child is a death out of the natural order. As Kim's mother, I obviously expected to die before she did. The emptiness, tortuous pain, and disillusionment with life that resulted felled me. As I have repeatedly said, the magnitude of my loss turned my entire life - and my belief system - upside down. Once the natural order had been torn apart, I had no choice but to discover a new way to look at the world - a way that would return me to well-being and, someday, happiness. I chose spirituality as one of the avenues to pursue, to make sense of this sudden and devastating loss.

I take comfort in knowing we never truly stop living and that what we on the earth plane call 'death' is anything but. My understanding is that we take our characteristics, habits, and memories with us. In spirit, we are free to develop our souls. We continue to grow, remember, and love - both here on earth as well as on the other side/heaven.

My wish is that by sharing my very personal journey with you, it will aid you on your own path as it twists and turns through your loss and grief. It takes a great deal of courage to find your way back into life. You will never be the way you were before, but you will learn to live with your loss and regain your abilities to function and be happy.


My I remind you to be gentle with yourself as you look for solace. You must allow yourself to express your feeling of grief. It is important to talk about your loss, your feelings of emptiness, your anger and pain. All these emotions are a normal part of the grieving process.

I believe that our children and other loved ones on the other side of life will help us to find our way if we allow them to. The bonds of love are never severed. Love is what enables and maintains the links between our two worlds."
-Excerpts taken from My Gift Of Light by Sandy Wiltshire

Note from Marsha: I have read Sandy's book twice. The first time through (5 months ago) the whole idea of 'mediums' was an unusual thing for me. A lot has changed in my thinking since that time, hence I picked up the book again to read for a second time. This time many more things stood out for me. I believe in the connection and have pursued it.